


Sometimes

by angvlicmish



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, College, Depression, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 10:23:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8442076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angvlicmish/pseuds/angvlicmish
Summary: Castiel’s feeling down again. But somehow there’s alway someone that makes him feel safe and sound.





	

Just like any other night, Castiel sinks down on his bed, his chest heavy and hurting, his eyes ready to let tears silently fall as he stares at the bare wall of his dorm room hoping that if he’s able to emotionally numb himself then another heart wrenching breakdown won’t come.

But why is this happening? Well, sometimes he just feels like this. Simple as that. And that’s the funny part really. Because it seems to be easier to understand an advanced maths calculus exam than it is to understand Castiel when he tells people that ‘sometimes he just feels like this’.

It’s not their fault though. Because if you haven’t felt the weight of depression on your own shoulders then you can’t begin to understand at all. But that doesn’t mean you can’t try. And Castiel’s in luck because he knows someone like that. Someone who’s patient, kind and caring. Someone who really tries.

Castiel needs them now. But he doesn’t want to inconvenience them considering the do live halfway across the campus. So he decides to send just a simple text. Maybe if he just gets one back then he will feel better.

_I wish you were here._

He also wishes everything didn’t hurt him so easily. So when ten minutes pass and he gets no response, his attempt to emotionally numb himself fails and whimpers fall from his lips accompanying his tears. 

He curls up on his bed, holding his pillow tight and just wishes that he could fall asleep so that everything would stop hurting, if only just for now.

Suddenly there’s a knock at the door and Castiel really doesn’t want to get up and answer it but then there’s another knock and it seems rather impatient so Castiel gathers himself up, his pyjamas sufficiently rumpled as well as his hair, as he does his best to wipe the wetness from his cheeks and keep it together for just one minute so he can open the stupid door.

But when he opens his door he lets out a shaky breath of relief because there is Dean, looking increasingly worried and Castiel’s heart just melts.

“Cas! Are you okay? I got your text and I came as quickly as I could.” Dean says, quickly stepping into the dorm and shutting the door behind him.

“Dean.” Castiel mumbles around a whimper and then he falls to the ground, his knees weak and his heart fragile. But Dean goes with him and when Castiel curls in on himself and sobs freely, there are warms arms around him and soft lips pressing gently on his shoulder and somehow he feels safe.

Castiel doesn’t know how long they sit there but what he does know is that Dean never lets go. And all the while he holds him close and whispers in between kisses that it’s okay and how beautiful he is and how much Dean loves him.

Then when Castiel’s cries begin to fade and his body begins to stop it’s trembling, Dean picks him up off of the floor, places him in his bed and silently shrugs out of his own clothes until he’s in nothing but a shirt and his boxers, and then he climbs into bed with Castiel, curling up behind him and pulling him close.

Castiel intertwines his hand with the one that Dean has wrapped protectively around his waist and places them together over his still beating heart. 

“Thank you.” Castiel says, his voice cracking over the syllables. Dean’s small kisses that press lightly at the back of his neck stop and Castiel cranes his neck to see Dean giving him a funny look.

“For what?” Dean asks, and if Castiel hadn’t cried himself dry then he would probably cry all over again because what does he mean ‘ _for what_ ’? Castiel didn’t think anyone could love him, a broken, helpless boy, so fiercely. 

“For always picking me up.” 

Dean gives him a soft smile and shakes his head. “I’ve never picked you up, Cas. I just help you pick yourself up.” Castiel’s chest is heavy again for the second time in under an hour but this time it’s for an entirely different reason. Dean leans down to give him a quick kiss on the lips before pulling away and resting their foreheads together.

Despite the dim light, Dean’s green eyes shine and it’s nearly as if he’s the light at the end of Castiel’s dark tunnel. “And I will always be here to help you with that. No matter what.” Dean says, his voice nearly a whisper.

Castiel suddenly turns himself and buries himself in Dean, their bodies flush and Castiel’s face hiding in the crook of Dean’s neck. He can’t help it this time. Tears slip down once again and they hold onto each other for dear life.

‘Sometimes I just feel this way’ will soon become a few times and eventually, _eventually,_ never again. And Cas knows deep down in his heart that Dean will be with him every step of the way.

Because Dean isn’t just there sometimes. He’s there every time and somehow that’s all the reassurance Castiel needs.

**Author's Note:**

> [My Tumblr](http://angvlicmish.tumblr.com/)


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